AFF sort of open again

[hyke]

For some of you this on this holiday island AFF might be where you want to return to. I'd like to inform you that AFF is sort of up again. With limited posting and no pm-ing at the moment.

The holiday season is nearing its end. Spectrumites is up. You are welcome there. And AFF is getting accessable again.

Hope you had a good stay at the Holiday Island.

The Island is still open. But other places are open now too. It's time for a fresh start. Where ever you go.

[EvilZakkie]

And on this, I'd like to reiterate that we're not "at war" with AFF - so don't make problems for people who choose to go back to AFF rather than come with us on to the Spectrumites board, or for people that choose to have an account in both worlds.

Also, don't start trouble on AFF - we don't want to create a new war. That's no good for anyone.

And, most importantly, don't get yourselves banned over there - we may need you around sometime down the track.

Take care all,
- Zakkie

[earthmonkey]

Yes - I agree. Especially for activism purposes, we need to be united in our goals, whatever disagreements we have had. I mean, speaking for myself I agree with the autism-related goals on the AFF site, so I have no problem with that, and would be more than willing to co-ordinate with AFF members on projects, such as APD.

[ichtms]

It is partially open and I just saw Michael 1 there, + a whole lot of other familiar names...

[TiggerTheWing]

I saw that Amy is modifying other people's posts with no explanation as to what has been added/removed...

[TiggerTheWing]

Oh, and she is re-writing history in a BIG way.

[EvilZakkie]

Lol, let her - I don't think anyone will care in 6 months time...

[Flardox]

Yeah screw that b!tch.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

and spectrumites is up?!!

YAY!!!!

[Bella]

AFF doesn't look that active really and Amy is still linking everyone to the post from EZ that she modified. You'd think it would be better for AFF admins to not mention the past and not link to a post that has a glaringly obvious 'modified by Amy' sign underneath it.

[aliengirl]

I went to AFF today to see what the current status was.

Well, it seems to be pottering along, just about, but I couldn't bring myself to post because all the people I want to be around are here and on Spectrumites - posting on AFF would be like talking to a bunch of total strangers.

I still feel sad when I look at it.

There are a few people making reference to the previous events and challenging G and A's version of events, but only mild challenges that aren't likely to achieve anything.

I think what shocks me most of all is that G and A have the gall to just carry on like nothing happened. They have accepted no responsibility and appear to have learned nothing from recent events.

And going by another thread on this forum, comparable incidents occurred a couple of years ago on AFF and again, it would appear they learned nothing.

They think they are the victims, the martyrs. They are the ones who are standing up for what is right in a world of wrong.

Oh Pleeeeeeaazzee!

I do find it a tad sickening frankly.

And it looks like, other than CBC, A and G are the only mods, which is hardly going to do anything to improve the situation that caused all this in the first place.

Sorry to drone on about it- but this whole AFF thing has affected me more than I thought. I was telling my Occupational Therapist about this because I was surprised at how badly it all got to me.

I guess it is because I trusted G and A and also the things that AFF suposedly stood for.
I can't help feeling a little betrayed even though I appreciate that I am probably being melodramatic and need a good slap!

LONG LIVE SPECTRUMITES!

[Stefano]

I went over to AFF when I saw that it was open again. Frankly, it made me nauseous.

Here's the deal: One of my Aspie traits is to take things at face value - giving and receiving. One of the things that makes life really difficult for me, and I suspect for many on the Spectrum, is not knowing what people mean as opposed to what they say.

One of the things I enjoyed about AFB, back when it was AFF, was that I didn't have to wonder about all of that nonsense. Sure, misunderstandings still happened - there is more than one literal interpretation of many words and phrases - but there was still (mostly) honest communication afoot.

Now, it is like my worst nightmare. There is such a disconnect between reality and their version of events that I literally get nauseous - it makes my head spin trying to keep track of what's real and what isn't. I am a recluse for a reason - and that $h!t is the reason.

If I could handle that crap, I'd be NT - and I am not.

Gareth and Amy are despicable, self-centered @-holes. They have violated my trust. I cannot work with them, near them, or in any association with them whatsoever. Many other AFFers won't be a problem for me. There are a few, however (Marcia, Joanna, and Quick Duck - who has more faces than I can count), that are G&A caliber @-holes.

Not at war with AFF, Zakkie? Maybe not, but I will never be at peace with them either.

SO, to any and all who feel they can work with those G&A people, good for you - you're better people, and much more well-adjusted than I am. But they just make me want to withdraw into my shell and rock, rock, rock.....

[K]

Actually, Stefano and Aliengirl, I feel the same way. I was of course the first to be banned, of this bunch, even if only on a temporary basis, then the perma-ban. I feel weird, and weirdly betrayed. Like, hey man, if you had told me the rules, I would have been sure not to break them. If you had told me that A was frickin insane I would have at least known what to expect. If you had told me that G just went along with her I would have known to expect the insanity from both of them. If I would have understood their relationship dynamic, being 18 (I believe) years apart, I would have understood that there is something clearly wrong with both of them. If I would have understood all of this I would have understood why they mentioned visits from (their version of ) Child Protective Services and Other Governmental Agencies. I feel dirty and ashamed to have ever associated with them. I feel stupid. I feel so stupid!

*By the way, I wanted to note, I do not feel that an age difference here is the most significant part, but I believe that the fact that there was a kid of 16 living with a woman of 34 who had 2 kids to be of consequence. I am being an armchair psychologist here, but I believe that Amy's first husband or significant other with which she had the first 2 kids may have been abusive, and perhaps was an alcoholic. When that happens, women often seek a relationship which has a different power dynamic in order to gain control back. That would be important in this case because it shows a problem with power and intimidation in Amy's life. It would also show a relationship which would not allow Gareth to explain his feelings, if they in fact differed from his "poor, bullied" wife.

[alectrum]

We were all emotionally invested in AFF in a big way and had a sort of shared propriatorial attitude towards it. It was the home of our second family in a way, but then Amy came back nursing her feelings of exclusion and couldn't tolerate feeling left out.

We didn't ask Amy to go when she did. It was her choice. Maybe she wanted more people to protest when she took a break? It's all a bit sad because if she had managed to wait a while she could have integrated with all of us and rept the rewards, but I think misplaced anger (caused by social services) is driving people away from her, and probably isolating Garreth too in real life.

I got really angry with her when I left AFF, but it's futile. I hope in time that she stops hurting other people because she's hurting, but she has the walls sky high at the moment and isn't seeing beyond the narrow boundaries that her life has been for some years now. Also - I think the hormonal imbalance involved in childbirth (it takes 2 years for hormones to return to normal) and the pressure from the SS (there are some particularly nasty bastards in Newcastle) have really affected her. Treat her like a torture victim and it will make more sense. In some ways, she reminds me of Timelord.

It would have been better if Garreth had give us some warning that she was returning, or worked with her on some damage prevention strategies. My advice would be at this point - lets keep talking to AFF and acknowledge that we have been hurt by behaviour that we do not entirely understand.

I'm a geordie and come from the same region as G and A. As I'll be going back to England soon I could ask to meet up with them when the dust clears. It may do them good to put a human face to one of us - but I would only do that with your consent and thiers too.

[EvilZakkie]

Sept 10, 2008 11:05:06 GMT -5 Stefano said:

Not at war with AFF, Zakkie? Maybe not, but I will never be at peace with them either.

SO, to any and all who feel they can work with those G&A people, good for you - you're better people, and much more well-adjusted than I am. But they just make me want to withdraw into my shell and rock, rock, rock.....

Yeah, I know what you mean - it's going to take me a long time to get over what happened at AFF, if ever. I don't expect to be skipping through the flowers with them anytime soon.

That being said, we've gone our separate ways now - no need to have much to do with them again - I'm just aware that given similar causes, what we do will probably overlap with them at some stage, and if we can smile and nod at them before running across to the other side of the room, then it will make life a little easier...

[Flardox]

Sept 10, 2008 12:13:50 GMT -5 alectrum said:

We were all emotionally invested in AFF in a big way and had a sort of shared propriatorial attitude towards it. It was the home of our second family in a way, but then Amy came back nursing her feelings of exclusion and couldn't tolerate feeling left out.

We didn't ask Amy to go when she did. It was her choice. Maybe she wanted more people to protest when she took a break? It's all a bit sad because if she had managed to wait a while she could have integrated with all of us and rept the rewards, but I think misplaced anger (caused by social services) is driving people away from her, and probably isolating Garreth too in real life.

I got really angry with her when I left AFF, but it's futile. I hope in time that she stops hurting other people because she's hurting, but she has the walls sky high at the moment and isn't seeing beyond the narrow boundaries that her life has been for some years now. Also - I think the hormonal imbalance involved in childbirth (it takes 2 years for hormones to return to normal) and the pressure from the SS (there are some particularly nasty bastards in Newcastle) have really affected her. Treat her like a torture victim and it will make more sense. In some ways, she reminds me of Timelord.

It would have been better if Garreth had give us some warning that she was returning, or worked with her on some damage prevention strategies. My advice would be at this point - lets keep talking to AFF and acknowledge that we have been hurt by behaviour that we do not entirely understand.

I'm a geordie and come from the same region as G and A. As I'll be going back to England soon I could ask to meet up with them when the dust clears. It may do them good to put a human face to one of us - but I would only do that with your consent and thiers too.

Quoted for Wisdom

I'm wondering if the meet-up thing would be a good Idea

It might demonise us less and help them see what they did wrong?

and possibly show that we are willing to understand?

and not such a evil ten!