Post by K on Aug 7, 2008 17:10:05 GMT -5
I know that I am bitching. I know I should not be bitching. But I have sunk into some type of really deep depression as of late. Things with Mr. Korrigan are not so good. I love him and he is my best friend and we are not even remotely on the path of considering a split up or anything, but I am just, well, not happy. You do not have to always be happy in a marriage, sometimes there are bad times to weather, but I have to tell you, we are on two different planets lately and cannot seem to meet in the middle. This morning he was very ill on the bus and I did not know it and was trying to talk to him and showed him something and he spoke to me very sternly (and loudly, though he will not admit to yelling) that he was going to vomit on me so to leave him alone. About 10 minutes later, he did not apologize but explained that he was not feeling well and that I should not be mad at him anymore. I told him maybe later. He then said a bad word to me. On a full bus.
Things with Little Korrigan are ok, for the moment, though she still hates camp and is feeling ill on and off. She is desperately wanting school to start again so she can go back to the preferred routine. I am hopeful that her teacher is tolerable. She panicked this morning as she forgot her wrist watch, as her Dad was having a bad morning and was trying to get her out the door with firm reinforcement, she was all thrown off.
This week, on Sunday, we had a wedding. It was very nice, but very stressful.
During the day on Sunday, before the wedding, Mr. Korrigan picked up the kitten, to find a roundworm poking out of his butt. So they have been locked in the basement apartment since then. I had to take off early on Tuesday to take them to the vet. (The money flows like water out of my account.) I also had to go to the school district because around here you have to prove IN PERSON that you have moved, and we did, earlier this year, and I will not know Little Korrigan’s class assignment without the mail. So I had to leave early Tuesday to do that. Though I have been already missing a ton of work and I was swamped, I had to do it, because Mr. Korrigan cannot manage to do all of the interaction these things require. This also brings up a really weak point for me, which is driving and parallel parking. There is no other choice at the vet, and the spaces are so rare, and so I was super stressed about leaving work, and then about parking. All in all, this part went well. The school district was fast, I stopped and saw Mr. Korrigan on my way to the truck (we had to drive in so I could do this, more money flowing from my account, for the parking and the cab to get to the school district as it is too far away from any bus lines for me to get there in a timely fashion) and went to take the cats to the vet. I had to stop at the pet store to get a second carrier as they both would not fit in the one I had. (More money flowing out.) I took them and there was parking. But then the vet visit was more expensive as they examined both cats, when I thought they were just weighing the little one for worm medication. Went home and passed out.
Wednesday, I am gathering amounts that we owe on various things. I call the place that we pay every month for our car, and they inform me that I am past due on my payment. But I paid my payment, like I do every month, on line. After 1.5 hours and 6 phone calls, including one where I hung up on an employee and one where an employee hung up on me, I finally got a supervisor who would fix it. Apparently, since February when I changed insurance companies, they have never gotten my new proof of insurance. Though my insurance company mailed it, it was mailed to the billing part of the company, not the insurance services part. When I ask why I got no letters or anything about this problem, I find out that though I changed my address with the billing department, that does not change it with customer service or insurance services. So they have been mailing to my old address all of the letters about the insurance issue. They have also been calling, my old phone number, of course. They kept telling me that I had to pay the extra money immediately, or it would be on my credit, as they pay the insurance part first, so I was actually short on my payment to the loan. They would fix it, but I also needed to pay the extra money this coming month. I do not have the money for either one. It would take at least 6 weeks to fix it, and if I did not pay now it would go to collections. Finally, the supervisor fixed it, and it should be fixed on my account within 48 hours. I will call tomorrow to get it taken care of.
Oh, and today my landlord called to tell me he had never gotten my rent payment. It is mailed automatically from my bank. So then I had to spend about an hour trying to figure that out, and they will resend the check. It has already been taken from my account, but apparently that is part of the automatic bill paying process.
Then Mr. Korrigan talks to me about what we have coming up in life. This begins a discussion about my parents coming to visit for lunch later in the month, and then we argue for another half hour about my parents and his parents and such.
This after weeks of a vomiting child, doctor’s appointments, arguments over AS, etc.
He is able to move forward through all of this and drop all of the emotion when the situation passes, and I just keep getting more and more miserable.
I have not felt this bad since my Dad died.
And here I am venting it all on you guys. I just wanted you to know why I have been so quiet and such, for me anyway, and why I may seem a little short with people. I am really having a pretty bad time right now.
Thanks.
