ADHD and My Sister

[ADHD and My Sister]

Hello. Well, today my parents helped my sister move, yet again. When they got there yesterday, which was the day they agreed to move, she was still putting things in boxes, and they only moved her bed yesterday before the U-HAUL rental went over. They finished today and got home late.

She's talented in art, and was at art school for a few years, doing pretty well, up and down, but there was a mix-up (either grade-wise or financial, or both, I don't remember), and she couldn't go there anymore and so has to attend a community college, re-taking many of the classes she already took because the credits from her art school don't transfer over, and if she stops going to school altogether she'd have to start re-paying her loans now, when she is going in and out of relatively low-paying jobs.

So that's some of the basic background. So when my parents got home, they suggested to me, that they were talking about how her hyperactivity, her difficulty organizing and focus, that they were thinking she might have some kind of, I forget what word they said, but I think they said something about a disability, and I said "you mean like ADHD?" and my dad said, "yeah, that's what your mother suggested."

A couple years ago when she was staying at our house a few days, she mentioned that she thought she might have ADHD, and she may have even said something about how when she tried Ritalin that it helped her focus, though I'm a bit fuzzy on that. Anyway, I think it may well describe her, and I'd like to suggest it to her (especially since I too experience many of the same things, whether or not I'm actually diagnosable with ADHD).

Since she has brought it up before, I don't think she'd be super-defensive about it or anything, or be offended, like my parents thought she might - she also is familiar with what I've written about autism and autistic rights, so I don't think she'd think 'OMG how can you say I have that.'

But, I would like to bring up the possibility, but I also don't know what she could *do* with the information, even if she was like "oh, yeah, that totally fits me". She could possibly get a medication to help her when she needs to focus, but I really have no idea how an adult goes about getting a diagnosis, as I was diagnosed through the school when I was 10.

(As a side note, I also would like her to get checked out for EDS, since she has many of the symptoms and I seem to have some degree of hypermobility as well, though not the other things that characterize EDS, but she's not the sort to actually go through with making appointments and such - she recently got in a car accident and fractured her wrist, and it was at my mom's prodding that she actually went into a hospital. So any advice on that would be much appreciated as well!)

Thank you all for your help!

[earthmonkey]

Sorry, guys, that above post is by me...I accidentally didn't sign in and got confused.

[UrsusMaximus]

Aug 4, 2008 0:02:32 GMT -5 @ADHD and My Sister said:

Hello. Well, today my parents helped my sister move, yet again. When they got there yesterday, which was the day they agreed to move, she was still putting things in boxes, and they only moved her bed yesterday before the U-HAUL rental went over. They finished today and got home late.

She's talented in art, and was at art school for a few years, doing pretty well, up and down, but there was a mix-up (either grade-wise or financial, or both, I don't remember), and she couldn't go there anymore and so has to attend a community college, re-taking many of the classes she already took because the credits from her art school don't transfer over, and if she stops going to school altogether she'd have to start re-paying her loans now, when she is going in and out of relatively low-paying jobs.

So that's some of the basic background. So when my parents got home, they suggested to me, that they were talking about how her hyperactivity, her difficulty organizing and focus, that they were thinking she might have some kind of, I forget what word they said, but I think they said something about a disability, and I said "you mean like ADHD?" and my dad said, "yeah, that's what your mother suggested."

A couple years ago when she was staying at our house a few days, she mentioned that she thought she might have ADHD, and she may have even said something about how when she tried Ritalin that it helped her focus, though I'm a bit fuzzy on that. Anyway, I think it may well describe her, and I'd like to suggest it to her (especially since I too experience many of the same things, whether or not I'm actually diagnosable with ADHD).

Since she has brought it up before, I don't think she'd be super-defensive about it or anything, or be offended, like my parents thought she might - she also is familiar with what I've written about autism and autistic rights, so I don't think she'd think 'OMG how can you say I have that.'

But, I would like to bring up the possibility, but I also don't know what she could *do* with the information, even if she was like "oh, yeah, that totally fits me". She could possibly get a medication to help her when she needs to focus, but I really have no idea how an adult goes about getting a diagnosis, as I was diagnosed through the school when I was 10.

(As a side note, I also would like her to get checked out for EDS, since she has many of the symptoms and I seem to have some degree of hypermobility as well, though not the other things that characterize EDS, but she's not the sort to actually go through with making appointments and such - she recently got in a car accident and fractured her wrist, and it was at my mom's prodding that she actually went into a hospital. So any advice on that would be much appreciated as well!)

Thank you all for your help!

This really does sound like the life story of someone with ADHD. If your sister is still on your parents' Kaiser plan, Kaiser does adult ADD diagnosis.

If she's not on a health plan that covers the diagnosis, it is CRAZY expensive.

[earthmonkey]

Thanks - I'll check to see what coverage. Though I'm pretty sure she's still covered, or I don't know if she would've got to the doctor's the other day about her wrist/hand fracture.

[earthmonkey]

We don't know what insurance she has, but it's separate from our family's, and it's whatever her work gives her I think. That's all I really know about it now.

EDIT: She has no insurance whatever.

[ethel]

As for whether a diagnosis would do any good... for me, just *knowing* was a big help, even through there's been bugger-all change since I was diagnosed. It allowed me to explain various previously inexplicable things in my life and gave me a big perspective shift.

But then, I never ever suspected I was an Aspie or had ADHD before I was diagnosed. For a person who already suspects/knows they have it, it's probably not such a huge watershed.

[earthmonkey]

Yeah, I'm more interested in her taking a more serious, long-term look at it (rather than just the passing observation that it seems to fit), to recognize what's going on and how to make good strategies for things - also I believe that a stimulant medication might help her, at least at times. I know that it wasn't until I specifically looked at my strengths and weaknesses in light of what I know about AS, that I started developing effective strategies for more complex issues.

I'm wondering - in the absence of a diagnosis or medication, what resources are there about ADHD and life strategies? Any good book recommendations, online links, or other info much appreciated.

[micgrace]

Earth Monkey, moving house YUK with a capital Y and that would be for an NT as well. Let alone aspies or ADHD.

Me, moving, accident guarenteed. plus meltdowns and every weird sort of behaviour one could imagine. Problem is we all like familiar surrounds, and aspies much more so. It takes me weeks to get over it. If I have a job at the time I'd lose that too.

The description of the sister does sound like aspies. And the complete inability to organize is common as well. I get someone else to organize for me. Or I spend one full day making up a schedule and that is traumatic, but necessary.

Focus comes with obsession. None without. Good Luck. ;D

[earthmonkey]

She's not aspie - and I've known autistic people who are non-disabled and/or don't stim much at all. She also was quite hyperactive as a child.

[micgrace]

Aug 5, 2008 2:05:03 GMT -5 earthmonkey said:

She's not aspie - and I've known autistic people who are non-disabled and/or don't stim much at all. She also was quite hyperactive as a child.

I'm just getting back into things. It is quite possible to have ADHD with some aspie traits. Needs a professional diagnosis though. Congrats on moderator by the way. ;D

[UrsusMaximus]

Aug 4, 2008 20:03:50 GMT -5 earthmonkey said:

I'm wondering - in the absence of a diagnosis or medication, what resources are there about ADHD and life strategies? Any good book recommendations, online links, or other info much appreciated.

The problem -- for me and for MANY people with ADHD -- is that wiothout the meds we may have all sorts of good intentions for the strategies, but we still lack the ability to follow through on them.

But if you google ADHD adult strategies, you'll find a trillion pages like this one: www.playattention.com/attention-deficit/articles/adult-adhd-life-strategies/

[earthmonkey]

Thanks -- unfortunately, she may not be able to get a diagnosis, which would preclude medication, at this time. Which is really stupid, considering that she needs to be able to maintain a job to get the insurance, but the insurance would help get a diagnosis to help maintain the job!

I don't see her moving in with parents anytime soon, as she is currently in a relationship, and if anything would be moving with her boyfriend, not parents, and I only foresee her moving back in if at an absolute emergency situation, as she has loads of social contacts and friends. Though, while she's not a dependent, I think my parents could possibly add her for additional cost.

I think I should go to them and emphasize the importance a diagnosis could be for her (though only after discussing with her and finding that she'd be willing to go through evaluation - otherwise the extra money would be practically pointless). Especially in the context of her finishing her art degree, which is something that she wants and we also want (as she has not abandoned the art to do something else, but rather is kind of stuck, interrupted from her goals.

I think I'll send an e-mail her way.

Thank you all so much!

[UrsusMaximus]

EM, how old is your sister? Would it cost a fortune for your parents to get her covered by their Kaiser?

[earthmonkey]

Yeah, my mom said it'd be like $200 or $300 a month...she's 5 years older than me, so she's 23 I think. Her birthday is 4 days before mine, on Christmas.

[hyke]

Is there a posibility she can get diagnosed with the support of school? Student facilities or so?